


follow the yellow brick road

by starrika



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Crack Treated Seriously, Darcy Lewis is the fandom bicycle and I love it, F/M, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, ok not that seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 12:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14379126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrika/pseuds/starrika
Summary: Darcy plays self-rescuing damsel and finds her soulmate in the process - oh, and a dog. And ababy. And ok, she is totally the Cowardly Lion in this extended metaphor.A continuation of this 'verse from The Soulmates Series.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Soulmates Series](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14025171) by [starrika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrika/pseuds/starrika). 



Darcy gets taken a month after Tromso. She had gone to the grocery, once Jane had settled back at Oxford, only to be thrown in the back of a black van coming out of Tesco. She had thought it was SHIELD at first, finally coming to disappear her for knowing too much. It wasn’t until they started grilling her about Jane’s work that she realized things had taken a decidedly Liam Neeson turn.  _Ha_.  _Taken_  a turn. It was good to know that even in an emergency she could still pun.

 

After the snatch and grab, things actually weren’t that unpleasant. Sure, she was in some sort of underground bunker… _base_  thingamajig that looked straight out of a Bond movie. And the scientists in lab coats looked  _very_  ready to break into some mad cackling. But they cut the zip ties from her wrists and gave her some water, and they sat her in a chair rather than throwing her into that pit from  _Silence of the Lambs_ , so. It could have been worse.

  
  
Much worse.

  
  
Being in a chair in the lab meant that Darcy could actually  _see_  what was in the lab. And boy were they hitting  _alllll_  the squares on the supervillain bingo card, because experimenting on babies and animals was definitely bad guy cliche number one.

  
  
But she kept chatting with the man guarding her – she had dubbed him  _Goon #3_  – consciously trying to keep her tone light and her body relaxed. If she had any chance of getting out of this, it was going to be with her wits. She really should have taken up karate after New Mexico. Or at least some cardio. Darcy chatted about their last trip to Tromso, lying through her teeth about the beautiful scenery, and how many readings Jane had collected. She asked a scientist nearby where he’d gotten his Ph.D., trying to look interested as he rambled about biomechanics, making sure to lean forward to highlight the girls. By the time the klaxons went off, she had nearly all the lab convinced she was  _totally_  down to villain with AIM.

  
The scientists scrambled. Goon #3 looked about in alarm before checking his phone and pulling his gun. “Stay here,” he ordered her, and yeah,  _fuck that_. She wasn’t going to stick around for whatever sent the science crew bolting for the panic room.

  
  
As soon as the lab had emptied, Darcy hustled over to the cages feeling like this was the Destroyer all over again.

  
  
“Hey Toto, you got to stay with me here. We’re not in Kansas anymore – got to jailbreak Dorothy and hit the yellow brick road, okay?” Darcy rambled, trying to catch hold of the dog’s harness with one hand as she jimmied the lock on the baby’s cage with the other. The dog was some overgrown mutt who looked like a mix between a German shepherd and a golden retriever, although he was docile enough, leaning against her leg and not pulling on his collar. The baby, on the other hand, was a  _tiny ball of rage_. Darcy shushed her, trying to swaddle her flailing limbs with a blanket, and pulled her close to her chest. “Dorothy, you’re going to bring those flying monkeys down on us if you don’t stop screaming,” she muttered, eyeing the baby’s beet red face in concern. She was a little concerned the kid would stroke out.

  
  
She eased out of the lab, hearing the sounds of gunfire in the distance. At least they had been stupid enough to lead her to the lab with her eyes uncovered, so she had a general sense of where to go. Darcy shushed the baby again, hoisting her back up on her hip. “Very honeybadger of you, not giving a fuck. I admire your lack of fear, Dorothy,” she muttered, peering around the corner. The hallway was empty. She could make a break for it.

  
It wasn’t empty for long.

  
  
Fighting spilled out from another room, bullets flying and ricocheting in the hallway. Darcy cursed, trying to shrink back as she noticed a man with a metal arm – what the  _fuck_  - take down twenty men without breathing hard. He quickly had a gun pointed at her face, and shit, she couldn’t even put her hands up. “Civilian! Civilian, here!  _SO_  not involved in whatever is going on.”

  
He stared at her for a long moment, unmoving.

  
  
“Totally going to call PETA on this animal testing bullshit,” she babbled. He looked pretty built – not like, Thor level jacked, but solidly built. Bit of a Kurt Cobain hobo-y thing going on. And a giant fucking  _metal murder arm_.

  
  
He blinked.

  
  
Darcy slowly eased her way down the hallway, away from him. “Yeah, ok. I’m just….gonna go. That seems like a thing I should be doing.”

  
  
He blinked.

 

She ran.

  
  
The sound of gunfire echoed behind her, but it didn’t seem to be coming any closer. The baby was now hiccoughing in between squalls, having worked herself into hysterics. The dog, however, seemed to be having a grand old time, his tongue lolling out to the side as if they were going for a run in the park. She finally made it out of the bunker, scrambling at the parked cars, trying to find one that was left unlocked – which would have been a hell of a lot easier if she didn’t have a baby in one hand and a dog harness in the other. Darcy now had a much higher level of respect for those Lululemon-wearing moms who frequented the dog park. The lady who had the twins and the puppy?  _Boss_.

  
  
The baby was gently lifted out of her arms, and Darcy whirled. Hallway dude had Dorothy in one arm, and he had smashed the window to the car with his metal hand. Dorothy immediately stopped crying, that little traitor. Darcy scrambled to load the dog into the back seat, taking the baby back as the man hopped into the driver’s seat of the car. Dorothy started screaming hysterically again as soon as Darcy got her hands on her. Darcy threw herself into the passenger seat with a wince at the noise, pulling the baby closer to her chest. “Thanks, Tin Man.”

  
  
The look he shot her was pure disbelief, but he merely shook his head and started driving. Darcy tried to shush the baby, slowly rubbing one hand up and down her back. The baby howled for a few more minutes before finally,  _finally_  winding down into soft whimpering cries. They sped along the highway in silence, and Darcy searched the pastures and sheep going by for some sort of landmark to get herself oriented.

  
“You know how to get to Oxford from here? Those guys – they really wanted my boss. I’ve got to warn her.” He made a non-committal grunt, but a few miles after that, he took a sign pointing the exit toward Oxford. Darcy suppressed a hysterical giggle. They were truly  _off to see the wizard_  now. “I can’t decide if I’m the Cowardly Lion or the Scarecrow in this scenario,” she babbled. She was on a roll with the anxious talking now. “On the one hand, ten out of ten, truly terrified with the whole kidnapping thing and definitely did not have the guts to be grandstanding with those AIM loons. On the other? Definitely no brains. Janey is the brains of this operation. Every time she starts writing equations with letters, I start humming  _if I only had a brain_.”

  
  
His jaw twitched.

  
  
“Plus, we gotta get some food and diapers and stuff for honeybadger here. And our little dog, too. And a car seat. I’m pretty sure this is felony child endangering right here,” Darcy shifted in her seat, trying to better arrange the seat belt she had buckled around her and the baby. “I mean, I probably get a pass with the whole rescuing from human experimentation bit, but yeah.  _Not kosher_ ,” she said, wrapping the baby’s swaddle a bit tighter for emphasis. Dorothy gave her a disgruntled look but didn’t start screaming again. Darcy decided to call that a win.

  
  
“Most people wouldn’t care.” Tin Man’s voice was gravelly like it hadn’t been used in a while. His tone was complete puzzlement.

  
  
“ _Whaaat_? Dude.  _Dude_. Most people I know are totes against animal testing, much less human experimentation. Like, there is no one I know who would go  _oh, a baby, carry on_  when they see a kid in a fucking dog cage. Or a  _dog_  in a dog cage. Surrounded by D-List megavillains. That is one hundred percent not a done thing and you’ve been hanging out with the wrong crowd.” Darcy sucked in a breath, her brain finally catching up to the words coming out of her mouth – and the words blazoned on her left shoulder. The words he had just said. “ _Whoa whoa whoa_. The fuck, Tin Man? You’ve been holding out on me.”

  
  
She could see his jaw twitch again.

  
  
“You said my words.”

  
  
He stared straight ahead at the road.

  
  
“Did I say your words?”

  
  
There was a long moment. He went a ridiculous amount of time between blinks.

  
  
“Got a name, Tin Man? I can keep calling you Tin Man, but I’m getting the feeling you’re not into it.”

  
  
“’James.”

  
  
“I’m Darcy,” she replied. She beamed at him. Although he had his head straight forward as if he was focused on the road, he must have been watching her out of the corner of his eye, because his jaw twitched once more. “Not a fan of  _The Wizard of Oz_ , Jamie?”

  
  
“’s creepy.”

  
  
Darcy blinked, before letting out a peal of laughter. “Is it the midgets? I can totally see you being afraid of the midgets.”

  
  
This time, the corner of his mouth twitched. It almost looked like he was suppressing a smile. “You got issues, doll.”

  
  
“Like a good magazine, Jamie. Like a good magazine.”

 


	2. Two

When they snuck back into the lab, Darcy had a sleeping baby in her arms and the dog’s harness in her grip. James tensely scanned their surroundings, the line of his shoulders stiff. He had pulled on a sweatshirt from the back of the car they had poached in an attempt to cover up his metal arm. With the hoodie and the hair, he was definitely rocking the Portland grunge. Darcy thought it was a good look.

 

Jane bolted up from the stool where she was sitting when they came in, relief washing over her face. “You were  _ not _ gone long enough to gestate a tiny human.  _ Explain _ .”

 

Darcy glanced at the clock. It had only been four hours. It had felt like days and mere minutes all at the same time. She felt a relieved laugh bubble up from deep in her chest. Unfortunately, that jostled Dorothy, who took one look at Darcy holding her and began screaming bloody murder once more. She was beginning to get a complex - this baby  _ really _ did not like her. Darcy shushed her, trying to bounce Dorothy a bit as she had seen other people do with babies. It didn’t work. Dorothy screamed harder. 

 

“You ain’t holding her right. Making her worry about being dropped,” James muttered, deftly taking the baby from her arms. Dorothy gave another little hiccough and leaned her tiny head against his shoulder. It was  _ sickeningly _ cute. And of course, the little terror immediately stopped crying. Darcy blinked, realizing she was staring.

 

“You’re doing things to my ovaries, Jamie.”

 

“Darcy,” Jane groaned. “Explanations, please. Any day now.”

 

Darcy turned back to look at Jane with difficulty, as she was enjoying the look of disbelief on James’ face. “Oh, well, kinda got kidnapped on the way back from Tesco. Some creepers called AIM? Anyway, they are super interested in recruiting you to their supervillain fraternity. So they drag me to this base -  _ where _ was it again?”

 

“Broughton Poggs.”

 

Darcy whipped back to look at James, who clearly had the baby bounce down pat. He had slowly been walking the perimeter of the room, looking at Jane’s papers and machines. He looked less tense than he had in the car, and Dorothy looked halfway back to sleep, with her blue eyes all buttoned up. He had a hand brushing over the light baby curls on her head.  _ Sickening _ . “That is the most British thing I’ve heard.  _ Broughton Poggs _ , Jane. Anyway, they had Dorothy and Toto at this underground base for experiments, so I had to take them when I got the chance to get out. James might have helped. You know, with the murdery bits.”

 

Jane pinched the bridge of her nose. “Murdery bits?”

 

“More than a bit,” James added dryly.

 

“And you are?” 

 

“That’s James. Oh, and he’s my soulmate,  _ bee tee dubs _ .”

 

“You’re joking.”

 

“Would I joke about this?”

 

“Yes, yes you would.”

 

“She ain’t joking.” There was something like fond exasperation on James’ face. It totally softened the murder-y hobo look he had going on. Well, that and the baby. 

 

Darcy grinned like a cat that ate the canary. “Yup,” she said smugly. “But anyway, I know we just got here and you were all interested in working with Dr. Saha on your new data, but I kinda think we should go. The last thing we want is SHIELD to come strolling back in, after we finally got rid of them. And you know they’re going to do that if they catch wind that this AIM group is trying to recruit you. We’re not letting them disappear you like they did with Erik. Plus, you know, kidnapping, unethical experiment-y supervillains. Kind of makes it hard to get work done. That rainbow bridge won’t build itself.”

 

Jane sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Go  _ where _ ?”

 

“Wyoming? Wasn’t that observatory on the list for collecting data?”

 

“Fine,” Jane said with a groan. “But you have to figure out how to get the baby and the dog through customs without any papers. And I  _ refuse _ to change a diaper.  _ Refuse _ , do you understand me?”

 

“Got it, boss.”

  
  
  



	3. Three

Faking paperwork for dogs was a hell of a lot easier than trying to create an identity for Thor a few years ago. Darcy mocked up some paperwork to make Toto a service dog to keep him from getting caught in quarantine. It was relatively easy to get a dog into the US from the UK. With James’ arm, a service dog would be an easy sell. TSA wouldn’t even look twice at him. Dorothy, on the other hand, was a little bit trickier. Darcy studied her blond curls, looking from James to Jane. “Jane, you’ve got lighter hair. It would look more believable to have you as Dorothy’s mom on the papers,” she said. There was no way people would believe she and James had produced a blonde kid.

 

“No.”

 

“I remember my punnett squares, Janey. You’re the best candidate,” Darcy argued.

 

“Nope. Not doing it. Plus you both have blue eyes. I don’t. Punnett square  _ that _ ,” Jane retorted.

 

“I’ll put Thor as the baby daddy,” Darcy threatened her. 

 

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

 

“You’re going to make me look like a girl on Teen Mom,” Darcy whined. “I’m too young to have a baby.”

 

“Darcy, you are  _ twenty-five _ .”

 

James cleared his throat to interrupt the two of them. “Don’t think people will be paying that much attention to Dottie’s hair,” he pointed out. “Especially if you put her in a hat.”

 

“See,” Jane hissed. The Thor quip had been a low blow.

 

“Oh my god, did you just call her  _ Dottie _ ?” Darcy replied, her bickering with Jane forgotten. 

 

James frowned.  “What’s wrong with Dottie?”

 

“She’s not some grandma at the old folks home,” Darcy replied. “That makes her sound like she should have a blue rinse done at the salon now that she’s enjoying her retirement from being a lunch lady.”

 

“Weren’t you the one who started calling her Dorothy?” Jane interjected, clearly still salty over the prior conversation.

 

“It was a  _ metaphor _ . Not, like, a statement of intent. We cannot saddle that poor kid with the name Dorothy,”  Darcy protested.

 

James set down the bottle he had just used to feed the baby. He shifted Dorothy up over his shoulder and started to burp her. “I like it,” he said firmly.

 

Darcy sighed, resistance broken by the sight of James deftly handling the baby. Damn him. Damn her lady bits. “Fine. Dorothy it is. We doing this out of wedlock, or do I need to fake some marriage certificate as well?” she asked.

 

“You can’t make Dottie a bastard,” James protested. He shifted the baby back down to being cradled in his good arm, and began walking the room to get her to go to sleep. Darcy choked back a giggle at his look of consternation. He actually looked serious about it.

 

“Mazel tov, hubby. When’s our anniversary?” Darcy said with another sigh, opening up a few more programs to start working on a marriage certificate and update her information with the government. Not that she really minded being married to James. Even fake waking up to  _ that _ every morning? She was a lucky woman. 

 

“Some time last year?”

 

“First weekend in June it is,” Darcy said, shooting finger guns at James before going back to typing. “You got your passport with you? I need some of your info for this.”

 

James shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Well, uh -”

 

Darcy exchanged a look with Jane and rolled her eyes. “Are you saying I need to make up something for you too?”

 

“Yeah,” James admitted. He looked between the two of them, wary for a few moments. Neither woman protested. Jane quickly lost interest in the paperwork drama, abandoning their conversation and wandering back to her desk to look over some data printouts. Dorothy let out a tiny baby snore, asleep in James’ arms. Darcy resisted the urge to squish both their cheeks. When Dorothy was being a fucking  _ holy terror _ , she was sort of ridiculously cute. Even if James had doomed her to a lifetime of being made fun of on the playground for her geriatric name.

 

“I’ve got you covered, Jamie. A wife, a kid, a dog, and a white picket fence, coming right up,” Darcy said reassuringly.

 

James did not look reassured or convinced.

  
  



End file.
